I had all but forgotten that these even existed
after a google search nose dive, procrastinating homework, here I am
I've read every post I once wrote
It hurts me to be reminded of how much pain I was in
I was so so young
too too young
That all feels like a lifetime ago and my heart is beating stronger than ever
but it still hurts.
every pounding is a reminder
every day is one day closer to the anniversary
it's been 4 years now.
what's surprising is the anxiety as the day approaches
what's surprising is that today I didn't make it through a single class without crying
what's surprising is I'm still writing about it
what would be even more surprising is if anyone read it
I am in so much pain and I don't understand how it's possible for the pain to ever stop
I want to go now.
It takes everything in me to stay
I don't know why I still stay
Don't worry, there's still a few of us left <3
ReplyDeleteDifferent, but still here. Still having ups and downs.
Still going. Still going.