Best Friend Not Found

It's Thanksgiving
so I shouldn't be thinking about you

I should be grateful for all the wonderful people in my life 
instead of thinking about the one person who decided to leave it

But I can't stop thinking about Thanksgiving two years ago

You were with your family in Saint George and I stayed here with mine
We texted non stop while you were gone
and FaceTimed multiple times a day

You dropped a pin on my location to find out just how far apart we really were

4 hours and 27 minutes felt so "freakin far away"

Those few days apart felt like an eternity

I tried to drop a pin on your location today
because I wanted to know just how far apart we really are
now that it has been a very very long 638 days 
and I have not received a single text,
 or phone call,
 or request to FaceTime

I tried to drop a pin but I didn't know where or how 
and all that came up was "best friend not found"

so I still don't know
just how far away you are 
I know my heart still rests in your chest but it's hard to feel yours beating in mine

so yes, I'm hurting

and yes, it is because of you

and yes, I'm going to keep telling people that I'm fine.
                                                                                                 It's fine. 

But it's not fine. 

Because today is Thanksgiving
and you couldn't even send me a text

638 days. 
and who knows how many more
until I snap and get to talk to you again